I've never been to Connecticut but I always wanted to live in a little town like the fictional Stars Hollow (from Gilmore Girls). I loved Lorelai and Rory. I wanted a funny, beautiful town with a town square, a Luke's Diner, a Dragonfly Inn, a friend named Sookie, a neighbor named Babette, and of course Paris and Lane have to come too. The truth is, there is no Stars Hollow. Bad things happen everywhere.
On Friday, when the first reports of came back of the horror at Sandy Hook School in Connecticut I began to tremble and wanting to talk - I sent texts to family and close friends. Through the day, the full horror was revealed - the principal, the school psychologist, some teachers and staff and 20 little children were killed.
In the blink of an eye I counted my chickens...where are my children? Where are my grandgirls? And then, a sick feeling knowing that at ages 7 and 9, they're the same age-group as those who were killed.
I'm sad but really furious, too. How dare he - the killer - take away the life of those little ones? They are the innocent, the helpless, and the ones who bring us hope and love.
It's just too, too terrible. I'm sad for the families of those lost, and for the whole town. They must cry and go on and honor those who were lost and rebuild their lives. It's as if the very heart of Christmas has been stolen away from all of us- the love, the joy, the wonder of the season.
So I cry. And pray. Today while leading music at church, my heart was breaking when I was leading "Away in a Manger" for the closing hymn. I made it through and kept directing but as tears sprang to my eyes, I could not sing. The lyrics to the last verse are:
Be near me Lord Jesus, I ask thee to stay
Close by me forever and love me I pray
And fit us for heaven to live with thee there.
I hope I can feel the spirit of Christmas. I want that. And I hope those who lost their own babies feel the presence of angels as they mourn and prepare to bury their little ones.